So I’m guessing this post will be much shorter than what I usually put on here, mostly for the sake of readability.
I don’t really know whether having internal conversations with oneself is commonplace or not since I’ve ever talked about that to just a couple of people, but it sometimes happens to me. My internal thought process sometimes takes the form of a dialogue between my brain and I, and that’s how I make whatever decision at hand. It’s funny separating my brain and myself into two different sentient entities, but we’ll leave philosophers deal with this issue. Here’s a small parody of what I was thinking this evening.
Brain: “Oh hey you’re out of university really early today aren’t you?”
Me: “Yeah I guess so, no debating practise today.”
“Good. How about you feel really, reaaaally tired today?”
“Yeah perfect. Let’s add some extra laziness in there and a hint of lack of motivationnn….voilà!”
Thankfully the situation didn’t get worse and I didn’t end up sleeping at 7pm. But I was really trying to pick up the pace of the day in general and be productive.
Me: “Ok here’s the deal. I can either work on my final which is after tomorrow, prepare for job interviews, or practise my writing which I haven’t done in so long.”
Brain: “Oh wonderful ideas, really nice. You get points for creativity, I tell you! Now, from all these options, how aboooouuuut…..we gooooo….and open that one video game that wasted so much of your time and that you stopped because you thought it was boring?”
“No that makes no sense I need to be productive.”
“Right, open that folder, and here we go, you started the game! We can worry about your future professional life later.”
I did have some minor work done, so I’ve got that going on for me which is nice.
Me: “Ok I’m still really tired, might as well sleep early and try to compensate for this disastrous evening tomorrow morning. I can’t think of anything to write anyway.”
Brain:”Yup, you’re totally right. Oh wait look, a funny Youtube video!”
90 minutes later…
Brain: “Right. You know what, you do look really tired. How about you go sleep?”
Me:” Yeah I think I should do that, and-”
“WAIT, what if…hear me out…WHAT IF…you DON’T go to sleep…huh? Ignore your reading for tomorrow, ignore that final, and write something on your blog? It’ll be really hard for you to wake up tomorrow, but you know what they say. Your brain can only become creative after-what time is it? Oh ok- after 10:45pm. It’s a real saying, everybody knows that.”
But seriously though. It’s always the same thing. I have to write a Spanish letter to a pen pal in Pittsburgh and it takes me 3 hours to jot down 350 words, not because of the difficulty of writing in Spanish, but somehow I really have nothing to say to a pen pal. I mean, thank God this is done through letters, which take weeks to be received (although I think our letters are actually sent by email). If it were real life or even through chat, taking up 3 hours to come up with a subject of conversation would be pretty awkward. On the other hand, I’ve already written 500+ words in about 20 minutes about things that are infinitely more interesting than what I wrote on my letter. Makes you think. Or not.
Right. The above was my train of thought transcribed over the period of ~30 minutes (including the dialogue). I hope this gets me motivated to write more pieces. I need motivation!!!